LIVE(STREAM) REVIEW: The Black Dahlia Murder @ Yule ‘Em All: A Holiday Variety Extravaganza
As we prepare to pull the proverbial plug on the Coronavirus-tainted cesspool that is 2020, it’s safe to say that Christmas and its associated merriment is a bit of a hard sell this year. Bereft of live music and the usual seasonal booze-filled gatherings with mates, it’s going to take something a bit special to fill the gaping void, but if any band can rise to the filthy occasion it’s THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER. Loftily touted as “the most major holiday event since Tickle Me Elmo dropped”, the Michigan death metallers are serving up a livestream extravaganza entitled Yule ‘Em All (we see what you did there lads) chock-full of live performances, special guests and erm, Ham Sanitizer. Yes, you read that last bit correctly – but there’s much else to discuss before such meat themed japes take centre stage.
The illustrious task of presenting tonight’s feral festivities falls to eccentric oddball-cum-funnyman Neil Hamburger, whose bizarre banter and entirely inappropriate jokes delivered from beside a crackling fire is more SNL than The Night Before Christmas wholesomeness. Cut to an explosion of canned laughter and the band passing a bong around a dining table, the first in a series of comedic skits swiftly segues into a four-song set from the livestream’s first ‘venue’ of the evening with talisman Trevor Strnad – fully decked out in a pink bunny outfit – piledriving headfirst into a frenzied Funeral Thirst with enough bug-eyed vocal ferocity to peel the very enamel from your teeth.
With more tinsel and lit up trees than you can shake a stick at, Contagion drops amongst a sea of red and green with all the strength of a hirsute hand grenade, packing sufficient sledgehammer riffs and blistering solos to instigate horns being thrown aloft in living rooms across the globe. There’s barely time for eager bloodshot eyeballs to register the animated Santa Claus visual whizzing across the screen before a doubleheader from 2005’s Miasma sees every member slamming their respective instrument as if they were in the potent grip of a violent seizure. The act of windmilling appears to have possessed both guitarist Brandon Ellis and bassist Max Lavelle while Trevor’s rabid howls of “In vengeance we are born, To our graves these grudges shall be sworn!” during classic cut Statutory Ape send his rabbit ears flapping about uncontrollably.
A cheeky stab at climate change deniers and a police ‘bust’ later and the five-piece have set up shop at a random farm, hammering their collective way through the likes of fan favourites What A Horrible Night to Have a Curse and Everything Went Black. Speedy as hell? Check. Pivot riffing for days? Check. Simply put, it’s a blast fiend’s fucking paradise and lends further credence to Nocturnal’s status as a modern melodeath staple. “And now for a word from our sponsor, Ham Sanitizer” a dramatic voiceover suddenly declares. And arguably one of death metal’s most recognisable figures appears as the face of the brand. Yes folks, that is indeed George ‘Corpsegrinder’ Fisher hamming it (sorry) up, proffering a bottle of this so-called hygienic horror aka ‘the delicious food disinfectant’ and providing perhaps the most hilarious and head-scratching moment of the entire shebang. Distorted Sound has also never witnessed gifts being shook, punched and ripped open with such venom, but it’s certainly a suitably dramatic pre-cursor to Widowmaker; it’s opening banshee-like scream is reassuringly terrifying and all-out savagery of instrumentation sounds amplified to the max in this small studio environment.
There’s just enough time to squeeze in one more festive skit; this time it’s the guys chasing off saccharine carol singers outside a random house, with bongos, before asking an unseen resident if they can come in and take a shit. Those silver-tongued charmers. And as the final location of this holiday extravaganza is revealed, it’s obvious that the best – in terms of musical panache and atmosphere – has been saved for last. Flanked by religious iconography and illuminated by swathes of light streaming in via the vast stained glass windows, there’s never been a more gloriously blasphemous juxtaposition as THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER deliver four thunderous offerings from latest opus Verminous. From the title track’s compelling filth to Removal of the Oaken Stake’s blackened melancholy and the stomping grooves of Sunless Empire, it’s a dynamic display from a modern death metal band at the very top of their game. The credits roll amongst a plethora of gratuitous nudity, booze and a curious kitty rounding off a night of the festive and the feral.
Rating: 9/10
Check out a selection of photographs from Yule ‘Em All: A Holiday Variety Extravaganza here:
