ALBUM REVIEW: Colossal Oppressor – Ten Ton Slug

The butterfly effect is real folks. Fifty-nine years ago, Tony Iommi injured his fingers at work, and in so doing, set off a chain of events leading to the eventual existence of slug metal, a mollusc-obsessed subgenre of sludge. Lancashire’s SLUGDGE are perhaps the best-known, but there are a few similar-minded acts squirming around out there, such as Finland’s SLUG LORD. Joining such illustrious if rather sticky company are Ireland’s TEN TON SLUG, who have a surprisingly large amount of hype behind them. The four-piece have been eating all the lettuces in the UK underground for close to a decade now and have finally got round to releasing a full-length. We probably shouldn’t be surprised it’s taken this long; slugs move really slowly you see, no legs.

Appropriately, Colossal Oppressor is thick, heavy, and slow-moving. It’s a record that’s packed with groovy riffs and vocals so gravelly they could make you spontaneously grow a beard. Slithering to just over 40 minutes in length, it’s an unfussy affair full of plodding, down-tuned riffs and somnambulant grooves. There’s a distinctive EYEHATEGOD vibe permeating it, albeit with less heroin and more invertebrates, and this’ll make the ideal soundtrack for anyone who enjoys nodding off with little flecks of ash on their shirt.

First track The Ooze sets things up nicely. There’s an ominous acoustic intro, before the band swagger into six minutes of crushing, doom-sludge akin to a thunderclap unfolding in slow motion. Vocalist Rónán O’hArrachtáin sings like someone who simply can’t get an irritating hairball up, and while he’ll no doubt divide opinion, his pipes are perfectly suited for this kind of bludgeoning belligerence.

Balor follows and continues the putrid, sink-clogging atmosphere with a wealth of bass-heavy grinding. Ancient Ways and Brutus unfold in a similar fashion, but Mindless And Blind shakes things up with some AMON AMARTH-style rhythms. This one is six minutes of phlegm-spattered, disease-ridden sludge and it’s almost tailor made for those rowing pits that are all the rage these days.

There’s a momentary respite with the instrumental Ghosts Of The Ooze, but from that point on, TEN TON SLUG focus on kicking out as many bruising, mucus-covered jams as possible. The album’s closing act is a meandering, almost hypnotic trip into the bowels of the Earth, casually stumbling through slime-covered burrows while trying not to think about Star-Nosed Moles. It’s dank and unpleasant and sludge fans will love every glacially paced second.

The downside to all this oozing unpleasantness is that Colossal Oppressor is very much a genre piece. There’s a lot less crossover appeal to be found here than in the last SLUGDGE record, and it takes itself more seriously than a record about slugs probably deserves. It gets a bit repetitive and this definitely won’t be for everyone, but any Malacologists who happen to be fans of CROWBAR will be in misanthropic heaven.

And on an interesting note, this record happened to turn up at Distorted Sound HQ just as our reviews editor was telling us about the time he tried to breed racing snails. He thought removing their shells would make them faster, but instead they only got more sluggish.

Rating: 7/10

Colossal Oppressor is out now via self-release.

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