ALBUM REVIEW: Hartgeld Im Club – Callejon

German metalcore demands to be heard through CALLEJON’s Hartgeld Im Club – even though eight albums into their existence, they should know what works by now. For a metalcore band, withstanding seventeen years together without one headline-grabbing, career-ruining controversy is a feat in itself. For Düsseldorf natives CALLEJON, however, the survival alone is not enough. If there’s one thing that could put their reputation at risk, it’s the tail end of their eighth album.

“Hold two fingers to my head and do it,” fires the catchy Kids (or so Google Translate suggests), loosely translated as boredom with the status quo yet contagious in any language. Similarly, the seductive tone of Palmen aus Plastik conceal a scathing condemnation of prosperous yet contrived lifestyles. “Tell yourself this world is perfect,” calls out the intense So Perfekt, the track most likely to stick with you for days.

Beyond the furious tempo of Von Party Zu Party, the glittering opening of Was Du Liebe Nennst is as balladic as CALLEJON can muster, and there’s something RAMMSTEIN about its techy interludes. Despite its wonderfully tricksy guitars, echoes of FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND belt through the anarchic energy of Schlechtes Vorbild.

Unfortunately, Hartfeld Im Club tails off towards the end with a handful of misjudged risk-takers. The scene throwback of Bros (if you were a fan of Teen Hearts, you’d feel this right through your coontails) is bearable, however it’s the generic title track and repetitive Porn From Spain that begin to leave the album bottom-heavy. Urlaub Fürs Gehirn aims to shock with its tongue-straight-through-cheek lyrics more cringeworthy than controversial. However, Ich Rolle Mit Meim Besten takes the biscuit above all – an unbearably painful try-hard rap whose novelty wore off a few seconds in.

Thirteen tracks on a metalcore album already spelled out an incoming disaster, but nothing could prepare listeners for the closing tracks to Hartgeld Im Club. CALLEJON’s fans deserve better.

Rating: 5/10

Hartgeld Im Club is out now via Century Media Records. 

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