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ALBUM REVIEW: Major League Heavy-Rock – Hellamor/Red Stone Chapel

Billed as a doom release, it becomes clear that Major League Heavy-Rock is less miserabilist riffing and more balls to the wall rock. German rockers HELLAMOR and RED STONE CHAPEL have offered up four tracks each to break up the monotony of the last twelve months.

HELLAMOR kick things off with Fallen Saint; seven minutes of hard riffing classic rock. There are touches of Blood And Thunder-era MASTODON in the guitar work and everything rattles by at a good pace. The same is true for Hourglass, which doubles down on the seventies-rock vibe the band are going for. Bluesy flourishes leap off the fretboards while vocalist Ralf wails over the top. I Can Hear It seems like an attempt to change up the pace but is the worst track on the split. Childish lyrics and a weird, out of place, crossover thrash delivery adds nothing. High art might not be the aim here, but it strips HELLAMOR of the goodwill they built in the first two tracks and affects the way you view them when they adopt their serious faces for the darker Never Taught Me.

Based on Ralf’s childhood, Never Taught Me is heavier in style and tone but has the impossible task of following such a bizarre addition. Out of context, it’s arguably their best track, with an excellent show of guitar work in the final minute, but within Major League Heavy-Rock, and as a closer for HELLAMOR’s side, it ends up missing those emotional beats. RED STONE CHAPEL settle into their stoner rock stylings with The Paper King. Vocalist Dimi adopts a NICK CAVE style of singing during the verses, which contrasts neatly with the heavier choruses, while the band pepper their CLUTCH influences with heavier moments. It’s an atmospheric track, which quickly gets you headbanging along.

The bluesy, harmonica lead intro of Progress In Work is the only link to the band we heard on The Paper King. Dimi switches between a frantic, tongue-in-cheek, almost nu-metal delivery that feels completely out of place and deeper, gravelly moments. It sounds like RED STONE CHAPEL are deep into an identity crisis and their side of the LP, having started so strong, feels completely random and inconsistent. Perhaps they saw this as an opportunity to experiment, if so then we’re hearing these ideas in the most basic forms. A real throw it at the wall style of song-writing.

Genius Junction and Thieves In The Attic are live recordings that show that RED STONE CHAPEL have skill but are still tinged with these bizarre creative choices that completely throw the listener. While HELLAMOR dropped the ball with I Can Hear It, RED STONE CHAPEL offer little consistency throughout their side of this split. In or out of context, these songs make little sense. Even worse, the last two songs are so derivative. Thieves In The Attic sounds so familiar that listeners may be tempted to check if it’s a cover (it isn’t). That’s if they’re even still listening. Weirder is the fact that Thieves In The Attic is the last track of the split, but was clearly recorded early into a show because Dimi shouts “Good evening everybody” as the album ends. A minor point, but a sign of how thrown together this release is.

It’s nice to see HELLAMOR and RED STONE CHAPRL offer up some new material when gigs are still off the table but, to be blunt, so are lots of other bands. Incredible material. Consistent material. Die-hard followers of these bands may find something to enjoy, but for the average metal fan, it’s a mess of ideas that never quite gets going.

Rating: 4/10

Hellamor Red Stone Chapel - Major League Heavy Rock

Major League Heavy-Rock is out now via Go Down Records.

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