ALBUM REVIEW: This Shame Should Not Be Mine – GGGOLDDD
In the murky depths of 2020, Dutch alt-pop innovators GGGOLDDD (formerly simply GOLD) were approached about a commissioned piece for the online edition of Roadburn, famed for its consistently forward-thinking approach, curated line-up and commissioned pieces. Thus were the seeds sown for not only that performance – widely regarded as the most captivating and essential of the weekend – but the album borne from it: This Shame Should Not Be Mine.
In the silence of lockdowns almost two years ago, singer Milena Eva began the process of creating the work and, in doing so, confronting parts of herself and her past that had lain buried for so long. A trauma suffered those years ago, a single act, was pushed down and not faced for so long but, by confronting it now and creating such an intimate body of work to be shared with the world, Eva not only confronts but reclaims her past in stirring fashion.
Opening softly with I Wish I Was A Wild Thing With A Simple Heart, GGGOLDDD ease in with electronic pulsing before strings enter; it’s minimalist but no less foreboding for it. Eva’s voice is carefully layered but distinctly raw and alone despite the gradually building instruments beneath it. It crescendos with pounding drums and samples of crowded voices before Strawberry Supper begins softly once again. This time, juddering electronics underpin her sorrowful singing in the opening half before she intones “did you ever think / about the receipts I kept? / the shit you left me with?” in menacing tones. Vicious guitars snake in, the dynamics of the song changing from foreboding to more outright, but still subdued, ferocity – a kind that’s implied rather than direct.
Like Magic folds in tremolo guitars and cymbals that crash like waves, with moments that could sit on an ALCEST record, though there’s just as many throughout the album that wouldn’t be out of place on PORTISHEAD’s material. It’s a stylistically ambiguous and always daring mix of instrumentation that backs her vocals, blending electronics with guitar and drums in ways that owe as much to classical as they do to post-rock and post-metal.
Notes On Who To Trust teeters on the edge of anthemic with a wordlessly sung motif that’s incredibly catchy, along with memorable melodies in the verse portions and an ebb and flow dynamic to the song. On You is its opposite, Eva‘s voice – albeit mildly processed and layered again – left disarmingly alone, and Beat By Beat culminates the album with rousing strings and a feeling of defiance, refusal to be broken by past trauma or let it define her. Instead, it’s a bold step forward both personally and musically.
Emotionally raw, unflinchingly honest and starkly wrought, This Shame Should Not Be Mine is a difficult listen. Not for the quality of the music, but for that vulnerability and soul-baring honesty. It’s unsettling, cathartic and charts a path both through extreme vulnerability and the strength gained from reclaiming one’s past seemingly effortlessly. While it’s harrowing and unsettling, and will hit close to home for far too many, it’s masterfully crafted; every detail is thought through and deserves to be heard and appreciated, hopefully to bring some small comfort or relief to those who need to hear it.
Rating: 8/10
This Shame Should Not Be Mine is set for release on April 1st via Artoffact Records.
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