ALBUM REVIEW: Dinosaur Warfare Pt. 2 – The Great Ninja War – Victorius
German power metal nutters VICTORIUS have just released their second album, titled (seriously) Dinosaur Warfare Pt. 2 – The Great Ninja War. This latest effort claims to take the group’s previous two efforts (those being the Dinosaur Warfare – Legend Of The Power Saurus EP and the Space Ninjas From Hell album) and combine their fairly disparate plotlines into one big, cohesive and ambitious crossover event. Well, let’s see how that went…
To the unfamiliar, it will likely be pretty futile to capture in words the essence of this album. Saurus Invictus Lazerus provides the suitably melodramatic opening, packed with clashing steel, trumpeting mammoths and orchestral score. Victorious Dinogods is the first proper song, which takes riffs that are very reminiscent of old BLIND GUARDIAN ones and recycles them into a madcap power metal ditty about robot space dinosaurs. Unbelievably and rather perfectly, a scorchingly metalised rendition of John Williams’ tremendous score for Jurassic Park is featured in the track’s closing moments.
Mighty Magic Mammoth brings us more histrionic, riff-filled nonsense, covering the point in the story in which the dinosaur-ninja heroes are assisted by a steel-tusked mammoth, because of course they are. There’s some very convincing solos on display here that have no business being as good as they are and some alarmingly catchy vocal hooks. Just try not to think about how much you might be enjoying this. Allow it to wash over you.
If you still have a grasp on what’s going on in the album’s story, you are doing better than the author, who lost it around the time Jurassic Jetfighters comes screaming into view. The dinosaurs seem to be flying now; keyboards and power chords are clearly needed to demonstrate this. Tom Cruise makes an appearance. Nobody is joking.
The midriff of the album seems slightly more straightforward, with the thrash riffing and evergreen soaring melody of Dinos And Dragons all the way up to the muscular bombastic chug of God Of Roar feeling almost plain by comparison to their predecessors. Night Of The Nuclear Ninja seems to be where the story gets back on track in the lead up to the final showdown of the album. In a side-plot straight out of Saturday morning TV, the ninjas are not only back (having apparently gone somewhere), they are also now nuclear and therefore more powerful! This outrageous turn-up for the books is illustrated with a double bill of jaunty riffs and slick melodies.
The closing moments of the album get right back into that groove from which it was opened. Triceps Ceratops comes tearing out of the gate in a manner befitting its muscular, presumably three-horned namesake. It’s a raging gallop with a strong rhythm section and an utterly ludicrous set of lyrics about a hench triceratops, delivered in almost Kai Hansen-esque style. It’s followed by Tyrannosaurus Steel (a name that many of us would go for by deed poll, if we wouldn’t get laughed out of the office) which is all swirling keyboard loops and pounding double kicks. It’s quite stirring if you don’t concentrate on its lyrical content.
Shadow of The Shinobi is probably the best musical arrangement on the whole album. It’s dense, battering speed metal, light on keys and heavy on riffs, with a suitably stirring power-tinged chorus. This utterly ludicrous forty-or-so minutes culminates in Powerzord, which is basically what a SABATON album from after the Great Space War of 2573 would probably sound like. It’s all shouting choruses and simple melody patterns, but ones that do their job extremely effectively and round out the album in barnstorming fashion.
If you take anything about this album seriously at all, just know you will hate it. The mindset you must inhabit is that of a six to eight year-old who is absolutely tripping out of their mind on E-Numbers and seizure-inducing Japanese cartoons. If you cannot inhabit this mindset, what you will find is a completely off-the-wall bubble of hysterical madness. If you can however, you’ll find a little sliver of that wide-eyed, Saturday morning adventure, which you looked forward to all week and haven’t experienced in far too long. You know, the one where peril was mild and heroes were proper heroes, invincible do-gooders who always came up triumphant and brought with them a properly ludicrous soundtrack that would stick in your fertile little mind for the rest of your life. In case you needed telling, Dinosaur Warfare Pt. 2 – The Great Ninja War is just like that.
Rating: 8/10
Dinosaur Warfare Pt. 2 – The Great Ninja War is out now via Napalm Records.
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